It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
