you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
