You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize