are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Too much gin, very little bucket
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
