last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She even gives head with a lisp.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
