One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
