I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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