She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
