hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.