You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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