margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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