Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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