Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I am puke
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
