i'm signing you up for texting rehab
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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