I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
