Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize