Don't you send me to vm
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
