Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
