FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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