maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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