i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Naked Twister starts at high noon
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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