You kept calling me your small dog last night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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