After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
