A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize