overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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