I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
