I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
