She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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