Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
