he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
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Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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