Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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