So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
