Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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