In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
