There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
