to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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