there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
