I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
