Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
