last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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