if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
