Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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