he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
