Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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