i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Houston, we have a squirter
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
