Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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