from now on my penis is your penis
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
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