Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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