Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
