she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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