we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
