none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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