Rock
Scissors
Fuck
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
