the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
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Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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