Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
