Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
