Screwed.edu
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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